Funny Wedding Speech Examples

Good evening, everyone! I'm [Best Man's name], [Groom's name]'s best man, and I promise to keep this speech mostly appropriate for the family members in the audience. I've known [Groom's name] for [number] years, and in that time, I've watched him transform from a guy who thought a balanced diet meant holding a beer in each hand to... well, actually, that hasn't changed much. But he has learned to share one of those beers with [Bride's name]! When [Groom's name] first told me about [Bride's name], I knew something was different. First of all, he actually showered before their dates without me having to remind him. He started doing his own laundry instead of wearing the same shirt for a week. And most shocking of all, he began using actual words to express his feelings instead of just grunting and pointing. [Bride's name], I have to warn you about a few things. [Groom's name] will never admit when he's lost, even when he's been driving in circles for an hour. He thinks putting dishes in the sink counts as "doing the dishes." And he genuinely believes that his dancing is not only acceptable but actually good. I've seen it. It's not. But here's what I love about [Groom's name] – he's loyal, he's generous, and he makes friends wherever he goes. He's the kind of guy who will help you move, lend you money, and still be your friend even after you've seen him try to assemble IKEA furniture while refusing to read the instructions. [Groom's name], you've found someone amazing in [Bride's name]. She laughs at your jokes even when they're terrible, she pretends your cooking is edible, and she somehow convinced her parents that you're good enough for their daughter. That's either true love or she's an incredible actress! [Bride's name], thank you for making my best friend so happy. Thank you for being patient with his weird obsession with [hobby/interest], for tolerating his friends, and for agreeing to marry him despite having seen him at [embarrassing situation]. I've watched you two together, and it's clear that you're perfect for each other. You both laugh at the same terrible movies, you both think pineapple belongs on pizza (which is wrong, but we'll let it slide), and you both somehow think [Groom's name]'s karaoke performances are entertaining rather than a threat to public safety. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade! But seriously, you two have something special. You make each other better, you make each other laugh, and most importantly, you make each other happy. Here's to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] – may your love story be filled with laughter, joy, and just enough embarrassing moments to keep things interesting!

Hello everyone! I'm [Sibling's name], [Bride/Groom's name]'s [sibling relationship], and I'm here to share some embarrassing stories that I've been saving for exactly this moment! Growing up with [Bride/Groom's name] was like having a built-in entertainment system. There was never a dull moment, mainly because someone was always getting into trouble or doing something ridiculous. I remember when [Bride/Groom's name] was [age] and decided to give the dog a haircut because they thought it looked "too fluffy." Let's just say the dog looked like it had been attacked by a lawn mower, and [Bride/Groom's name] was banned from using scissors for the rest of the summer. Then there was the time [Bride/Groom's name] tried to impress a crush by attempting to be athletic. They signed up for [sport] and showed up to the first practice wearing [inappropriate outfit]. The coach took one look and asked if they were there to play or to audition for a comedy show. But here's the thing about [Bride/Groom's name] – even though they've always been slightly ridiculous, they've also always been incredibly kind. They were the sibling who would share their Halloween candy (after hiding the good stuff first), who would let me tag along with their friends (while bribing me to behave), and who would always have my back when we got in trouble (usually because of something they started). When [Bride/Groom's name] first told me about [Partner's name], I knew this was serious because they actually started caring about their appearance. Suddenly, they were asking for fashion advice from me – ME! The person who once wore socks with sandals to a school dance! [Partner's name], I hope you know what you're getting into. [Bride/Groom's name] will hog the remote control, they sing off-key in the shower, and they have an irrational fear of [silly fear]. But they'll also make you laugh every single day, they'll support your dreams even when they're crazy, and they'll love you with the same fierce loyalty they've shown our family all these years. I've watched you two together, and it's like watching a comedy duo that actually likes each other. You finish each other's sentences, you laugh at each other's jokes, and you both think the other person is funnier than they actually are. That's true love right there! [Bride/Groom's name], I'm so happy you found someone who appreciates your unique brand of weirdness. [Partner's name], welcome to our crazy family! You're going to fit right in. Here's to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] – may your marriage be filled with laughter, love, and slightly fewer embarrassing moments than childhood (but not too many fewer, because where's the fun in that?)!

Hi everyone! I'm [Speaker's name], and I'll keep this short because the bar is open and my jokes get worse as the night goes on. They say marriage is when a man loses his bachelor's degree and gets a master's degree. [Groom's name], you're about to get a PhD in "Yes, dear" and a master's in "You're absolutely right, honey." [Bride's name] and [Groom's name], you're perfect for each other. You both have questionable taste in friends, you both think my jokes are funny, and you both somehow convinced everyone here that you're responsible adults. Marriage is like a deck of cards – it starts with hearts and diamonds, but ends with looking for a club and a spade! Here's to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!

Good evening! I'm [Parent's name], [Child's name]'s [parent relationship], and I've been waiting years for the opportunity to embarrass my child in front of all their friends! When [Child's name] was little, they had some very definite ideas about their future spouse. They announced at age 6 that they were going to marry someone who could make the best grilled cheese sandwiches and who owned a trampoline. [Partner's name], I'm not sure about the trampoline, but we'll definitely need to test those sandwich-making skills! As [Child's name] got older, their requirements became more sophisticated. In high school, they declared they would only date someone who could appreciate their extensive collection of [hobby items] and who wouldn't judge them for their obsession with [TV show/interest]. [Partner's name], you clearly passed both tests with flying colors! [Child's name] has always been unique. They were the kid who wore mismatched socks on purpose, who insisted on eating cereal for dinner because it was "more efficient," and who once tried to convince us that staying up all night was actually good for their health because "some cultures practice this." But beneath all that quirkiness is someone with an enormous heart. [Child's name] has always been the person who brings home stray animals, who makes friends with the lonely kid at school, and who remembers everyone's birthday even when they forget their own anniversary. [Partner's name], you've taken on quite a project here. [Child's name] will leave coffee cups all over the house, they'll start 47 different projects and finish 3 of them, and they'll try to convince you that their way of loading the dishwasher is actually more logical than yours. But they'll also make you laugh every day, support your craziest dreams, and love you with the same fierce dedication they've shown to their 15-year collection of [collectible items]. I've watched you two together, and it's clear that you bring out the best in each other. [Partner's name], you've somehow made [Child's name] even more wonderful than they already were, which honestly didn't seem possible. [Child's name], I'm so proud of the person you've become and so happy that you found someone who appreciates your beautiful, chaotic, loving heart. Here's to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] – may your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and just enough chaos to keep life interesting!

Hello everyone! I'm [Friend's name], and I've had the pleasure and occasional pain of being [Bride/Groom's name]'s friend for [number] years. I want to start by saying that [Bride/Groom's name] is one of the most loyal, caring, and generous people I know. They're also one of the most stubborn, dramatic, and competitively awful at board games, but we love them anyway! I remember the first time [Bride/Groom's name] told me about [Partner's name]. They spent an hour describing every detail of their conversation, analyzing every text message, and asking me what I thought it meant when [Partner's name] used a smiley face emoji instead of a laughing emoji. I knew this was serious because [Bride/Groom's name] had never cared that much about punctuation before! [Bride/Groom's name] has always been a little extra. They're the friend who shows up to a casual dinner party with a three-course meal they prepared, who makes detailed itineraries for weekend trips to the grocery store, and who has strong opinions about the proper way to fold fitted sheets (which, by the way, is impossible, but don't tell them I said that). But here's what I love about [Bride/Groom's name] – they care deeply about everything and everyone in their life. They remember the smallest details about your problems, they celebrate your victories like they're their own, and they'll drop everything to help you, even if you just need someone to help you move furniture or listen to you complain about your boss for the hundredth time. [Partner's name], you should know that being with [Bride/Groom's name] means you'll never be bored. They'll drag you to art museums at 9 AM on Saturday mornings, they'll insist on trying every new restaurant in town, and they'll somehow convince you that their elaborate holiday traditions are actually fun rather than exhausting. But you'll also have someone who will adventure with you, who will support your dreams, and who will love you with the same intensity they bring to everything else in their life. I've watched you two together, and it's beautiful to see how you balance each other out. [Partner's name], you bring a calmness to [Bride/Groom's name]'s chaos, and [Bride/Groom's name], you bring excitement to [Partner's name]'s serenity. Here's to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] – may your marriage be filled with adventure, laughter, and someone to appreciate your perfectly organized spice rack!