Funny Wedding Speech Examples

I'm [Best Man's name], [Groom's name]'s best man. I've known him for [number] years, and I was told to keep this mostly appropriate. I'll try. When [Groom's name] met [Bride's name], he started showing up on time. For years this man was late to everything. Suddenly he was early to dinner and answering texts the same day. [Bride's name], a few warnings. He won't admit when he's lost. He thinks putting dishes in the sink counts as doing them. And he believes his dancing is good. I've seen it. It isn't. He also has a strange devotion to [hobby/interest] and a habit of making terrible decisions you'll witness at [embarrassing situation]. But he'll show up for you every time. That's the part that matters. You're getting the good version of him. He saved it for you. To the two of you.

I'm [Sibling's name], [Bride/Groom's name]'s [sibling relationship]. I've been saving these stories for years, so thank you for coming. When [Bride/Groom's name] was [age], they decided the dog needed a haircut. The dog disagreed, and the scissors were confiscated for the rest of the summer. Then there was the time they tried [sport] to impress someone and showed up to practice in [inappropriate outfit]. The coach asked if they were there to play or to audition. Here's the part that matters. [Bride/Groom's name] was the sibling who let me tag along and never made me feel like a burden. They'd split their candy with me after hiding the good pieces first. [Partner's name], you should know what you're signing up for. They sing off key in the shower and have an irrational fear of [silly fear]. But they'll also show up for you every single time. Welcome to the family. To [Bride's name] and [Groom's name].

I'm [Speaker's name]. I'll keep this short because the bar is open. I've known [Groom's name] for years, and here's what I keep noticing. Before [Bride's name], he described his weekends as "fine." Now I get a full report on what they cooked and which show they're watching. [Bride's name], you make him happier than I've ever seen, and you laugh at jokes nobody else would sit through. That's not nothing. Raise your glasses to the happy couple.

I'm [Parent's name], [Child's name]'s [parent relationship]. I've waited years to tell these stories in public. When [Child's name] was six, they announced they'd marry someone who made great grilled cheese and owned a trampoline. [Partner's name], we'll test the grilled cheese later. As a teenager, [Child's name] said they'd only date someone who appreciated their [hobby items] and wouldn't judge their obsession with [TV show/interest]. You passed both. Here's the truth under the jokes. [Child's name] has always been the kid who brings home strays and remembers everyone's birthday. They have a good heart, and they picked someone who sees it. [Partner's name], welcome. You'll find coffee cups everywhere and half finished projects, but you'll also get someone who loves you the way they've cared for that [collectible items] collection all these years. Fully. To [Bride's name] and [Groom's name].

I'm [Friend's name]. I've been [Bride/Groom's name]'s friend for [number] years, which means I've seen the good, the weird, and the time they tried to fold a fitted sheet. When [Bride/Groom's name] first mentioned [Partner's name], they spent an hour analyzing a single text and asked me what a smiley face emoji meant. I'd never seen them care that much about punctuation. Here's what you should know about this person. They'll cook a three course meal for a casual dinner. They'll remember details about your life that you forgot you mentioned. And they'll show up when it matters. [Partner's name], you bring a calm to [Bride/Groom's name] that the rest of us have been trying to find for years. [Bride/Groom's name], you found someone who enjoys your particular kind of energy. To [Bride's name] and [Groom's name].